What Happened to Me on l•mmy.w•rld

I want to talk a bit about something that’s been sitting heavy on me for a while. It has to do with my experience on the l•mmy.w•rld instance of the Lemmy platform. It was a place I joined thinking it could be a cool corner of the internet to share, connect, and just be a person. Turns out, I wasn’t treated like a person at all.

Instead of being seen as a human being, I felt like they saw me as an object—either a content machine or just another “NPC” account among millions. Not someone with feelings. Not someone who was trying, in good faith, to be part of something.

I made a lot of posts asking for respectful communication. I wanted to be talked to like a person. Instead, it felt like I was being publicly criticized, used for engagement, and then pushed aside. It was overwhelming. Emotionally, mentally—just too much.

Eventually, I got banned. Not because I was harmful or toxic, but because I was upset. And yeah, I sent multiple messages. But not out of aggression. Out of frustration. Out of a desperate need to be heard.

When I finally got a response to my email, I was told:

“Stop accusing us of violating rights you think you have.”

And that line hit me hard. Like, they didn’t even try to understand why I felt wronged. No apology. No compassion. Just deflection. Like they were the victims, and I was the problem. It was cold.

They said they weren’t getting paid to moderate or maintain the instance, and I get it. Volunteer work is tough. Burnout is real. But still—if you’re running a space where real people gather, there has to be some sense of care. Some effort to look at the whole picture. To ask why someone is upset, not just slap them with a rulebook and boot them.

What hurt more than anything was being labeled “abusive” when I was the one who felt mistreated. It made me feel like my emotions were invalid. That trying to stand up for myself made me the villain.

But I know who I am. I know what I felt. I tried over and over to be respectful, to ask what kind of tone I should use, to be heard. And I won’t let someone’s defensive email rewrite the truth of what happened.

If you’ve ever been through something like this—where you were dismissed, silenced, or treated like you were less than human—just know: you’re not crazy. You’re not wrong for feeling what you feel. You deserve to be seen, heard, and respected. Online or offline.

Thanks for reading.

This post is based on my personal experience. The content was written by me with the help of ChatGPT to put my thoughts into words.