漠骶谱是一个失意做题家,在考入一间双非二本后不久,不像同辈人一样混迹于考研、考公和实习中,它非常想去北欧,近乎病态地想去。
“求你了,能不能和我玩一个游戏?”漠骶谱对男朋友说。
“能吧,不过是什么游戏呢?”冷面男说。
“这样,我们以后谢谢就说 kiitos,然后打招呼用 moi,再见说 moi moi”
“这是什么语言?”
“芬兰语,我这辈子肯定是出不了国,但是为了治疗政治性抑郁,想要假装在芬兰。学习优秀的北欧文化。”
“为什么是芬兰?”
“因为喜新奇,好自由,他们每个人都是儿童哲学家,而政府官员是诗人。她们说假装在外国能够稍微缓解一下这种心情,探索真正的自我。”
“这样的话,不是欺骗自己吗?”实干派的男朋友皱起了眉头。
“我们先吃饭吧。”
漠骶谱接着开始布置餐桌,而男朋友则躲在了一旁玩手机。宴席开始,这个精神芬兰人在桌子上铺上洁白的餐布,桌上露出巨大的甜甜圈形状黑麦面包、烤焦的香肠,旁边是网购的咸味甘草糖(Salmiakki),这些食物仿佛是纯白芬兰国旗上的血污。
“芬兰人之间的距离是非常有微妙感的,他们的民族性格是沉默寡言,冷面如霜的,为了体会这种文化,我们吃饭的时候就不要说话了吧。”
两人神色肃然,正是葬礼表情,只有咀嚼黑麦面包中的木屑声音扰乱寂静。
漠骶谱的思绪仿佛飘到了北欧世界,它的身体感受到了赫尔辛基森林的幽玄,耳朵听见了冬季高速上若有若无的汽车引擎声,三文鱼、冰雪和针叶林,这个世界很美丽,但是无可救药地无聊。
突然,漠骶谱的冥想突然被男朋友的一声大叫打破。
“这个甘草糖,好难吃……”
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